Monday, February 20, 2012

A Letter to Joy: My Job, Your Job

Dear Joy,

I like the way we get it done around the house.

From early on, we loosely agreed that whoever cooks, the other does dishes. You pay the bills, balance the checkbook and plan the menu for every night of the world (unless I swoop in with takeout). I'm the official toilet plunger, landscape manicurist, garbage handler, and Scutigera coleoptrata killer (unless you're situated near a shoe with some substantial sole when they slink by).

You keep your eye on the kids' clothes hampers, while I keep my ear to squeaking serpentine belts under the hoods. This loose list goes on.

But even these rules aren't Rules. On any given day, one might say, we both do both. On plenty of occasions, things turn the rules and roles round.

Some nights, I cook and do dishes; or you do. Neither of us holds tightly to our tasks, nor do we hold it against the other when they reverse. You've killed your share of S. coleoptrata, mowed with beaded brow in the 90-degree heat, and courageously cleared many a jammed john. We just roll with it.

Rolling with it - and settling for its less-than-perfect results - is a best-kept secret to the longevity of this parable we're living out. Never being above a job. Tackling a basket of clean laundry that needs folding, a dirty dish that needs rinsing, a renegade dust bunny or a burned-out light bulb. Throwing ourselves into what might be the other's task, chasing bitterness away with Bible.

We don't do it perfectly, but we aspire to. We have our days. But I must say, God has been kind to bless me with such a roll-with-it kind of woman.

And oh, by the way, I have to work late tonight. Can you set the garbage out on the curb?


On Mondays, Joy (don’t miss her letter this week) and I join Seth and Amber Haines as they fight the good fight for their marriage. They call this weekly series “Marriage Letters” and pray that it encourages each of us in our own hard work of marriage. This week our topic is “His job, her job.” You can join us any time with your own letter to your spouse, whether you both write or blog or not. Amber hosts a link-up on her blog, so we hope you’ll share your letter there!


  1. These letters paint a beautiful composite of the marriage you and Joy are blessed with and work on together. I love hearing your side of the story with these love letter! Thank you for sharing.

  2. BOOM SHAKA LAKA! I comment first.

    This is great, Scott. I especially like:

    "Rolling with it - and settling for its less-than-perfect results - is a best-kept secret to the longevity of this parable we're living out. Never being above a job."

    Sounds like biblical submission to me, each doing for the other in love. A great reminder.

    Thanks for running with these posts with us, Scott. I appreciate you and Joy a great deal.

  3. That stinks. She beat me while I was typing...


    I comment second and third.

  4. Replies
    1. Daggum 'ol Genevieve... I thought I had it LOCKED.

  5. Scott, I have not commented here before - but I do read these letters each week. And I am struck by your gracious, loving and often humorous tone. Believe me, your warm acceptance of yourself and your wife, with all your foibles, is refreshing to read. You are both remarkable people and I'm so glad God gave you to each other. Thank you for these lovely, lovely letters.

  6. Oh, I love this even as I realize it wouldn't work for us b/c I'm not the woman your wife is. I've never mowed a lawn, and, you know, almost 38 years into life, I just don't see myself starting now! May God continue to bless your amazing partnership!

  7. well, i like this. most of it. but i draw the line at mowing the lawn. as the youngest of four, i never had a chance to mow! at least, that's my story-----and i don't see a need to change now :-) plus, i like to think that he ENJOYS it! or needs the exercise. or something along those lines.
    anyway, we roll with a lot of mix-it-up and just get 'r done around here. and i think that's what i like best.
    enjoyed the read!

  8. Gracious yes to it all!

    {and YAY for comments!}

    Seriously, we appreciate you so much.


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